Monday, June 1, 2009
Conundrum
I never know how much to say in blogs. Sometimes I wonder- do I get too personal? Say things that no one wants to know or cares about? I worry that I replace my personal journal with these entries and that is something I hope is not true because I find my old journal entries extremely embarrassing more often than not. I wonder...
Thoughts on family
We recently celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Syracuse. I honestly can't remember which day we arrived in Syracuse. I can, however, remember my mild horror as we drove down the slightly decrepit Midler Ave, past what we now call "the scary house", and thinking to myself "Oh my gosh- could it be worse than L.A.?!?" But that was before I got the first glimpse at our cozy little apartment, met our fantastic landlord/neighbor Rich and discovered I was within walking distance of two used bookstores and the library. It's been a good year.
However, the thing I remember most about this time is how I finally was starting to feel like a part of my new family. It's weird to get married and change your name. I felt confused and a little displaced. Here I was living in a place where no one would ever know me as Sara Zeckoski or, for most of our friends, as someone other than Joe's wife.
Even though I'd been hanging around the Blum family for years I'd never been a Blum myself. But after the long hours on the road with my brother-in-laws, Zac and Tim, and stopping at Grandpa Pete and Grandma Sally's house I was finally feeling like a part of the clan. Uncle John eased my fears about getting a job. Aunt Mary took us for a hike. The Lindstroms even stopped in for breakfast and some mocking of Joe's height. It felt good.
I've never been close to my own extended family- in fact, my best friend's extended family felt more like my own (Hi LeDouxs!). I think my parent's have felt bad about this sometimes but I never thought they should. I love my parents and siblings dearly and that is something I treasure. Not everyone has that and I don't remember ever feeling deprived. But I still do enjoy having all these new people in my life. It's exciting and fun.
Recently, Joe's gradfather Pete Blum passed away and we flew out for the funeral. I didn't really know what to expect but I certainly didn't foresee how much I would treasure the time spent with my in-laws on the home turf (aka Wisconsin. if you know Joe then no explanation is needed). Though it was a sad occasion that brought us all together, Grandpa Pete's life is inspiring and I really loved the time spent getting more in touch with the Blum family.
All this to say, sometimes it still feels weird being married. I still think of myself as Sara Zeckoski a lot of the time. But I'm glad to also belong to the Blum clan.
However, the thing I remember most about this time is how I finally was starting to feel like a part of my new family. It's weird to get married and change your name. I felt confused and a little displaced. Here I was living in a place where no one would ever know me as Sara Zeckoski or, for most of our friends, as someone other than Joe's wife.
Even though I'd been hanging around the Blum family for years I'd never been a Blum myself. But after the long hours on the road with my brother-in-laws, Zac and Tim, and stopping at Grandpa Pete and Grandma Sally's house I was finally feeling like a part of the clan. Uncle John eased my fears about getting a job. Aunt Mary took us for a hike. The Lindstroms even stopped in for breakfast and some mocking of Joe's height. It felt good.
I've never been close to my own extended family- in fact, my best friend's extended family felt more like my own (Hi LeDouxs!). I think my parent's have felt bad about this sometimes but I never thought they should. I love my parents and siblings dearly and that is something I treasure. Not everyone has that and I don't remember ever feeling deprived. But I still do enjoy having all these new people in my life. It's exciting and fun.
Recently, Joe's gradfather Pete Blum passed away and we flew out for the funeral. I didn't really know what to expect but I certainly didn't foresee how much I would treasure the time spent with my in-laws on the home turf (aka Wisconsin. if you know Joe then no explanation is needed). Though it was a sad occasion that brought us all together, Grandpa Pete's life is inspiring and I really loved the time spent getting more in touch with the Blum family.
All this to say, sometimes it still feels weird being married. I still think of myself as Sara Zeckoski a lot of the time. But I'm glad to also belong to the Blum clan.
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