Logic Can Be a Bitter Enemy

I've always prided myself on how logical I am. I try to think things through before I make decisions, I like pro/con lists, I like facts, I like data, I like certainty. Even snap choices I make I can usually draw a line of logic from what I heard to what made me respond. But logic can only take you so far. Because, as I am dismayed to continue discovering, my logic doesn't always apply. Humans are too complex. The word chicken can trigger really different responses from people. Marty McFly would completely freak out if I called him my little chicken and possibly take a swing at me while he yelled, "Nobody calls me chicken!" Marty would have no way of knowing that "little chicken" is one of my most ultimate terms of endearment. How could he know?

So I find myself trying to understand the world around me based on my logical conclusions. But, it doesn't really work out that way and I insert my foot in my mouth at best and end of feeling like an utter failure at worse.

I was reading My Utmost for His Highest yesterday and at one point Chambers says how uncertainty and realizations of our short comings are these devastating moments for us. We fret and cry and beat ourselves up when really they are moments that are just right. Chambers posits that it is in these moments of loss and spiritual poverty that we are open to letting God fill us and lead us. Instead of gasping in fear or frustration we should be sighing with elation, thrilled about the new challenges and adventures ahead. Not something that comes naturally to me and frankly, one of the reasons I married Joe was because I knew he would never let me stagnate. No matter how much I might naturally resist it, he would bring that adventure into my life that I really need.

Yet, I'm having trouble swallowing this one today, I really am. I like to fix things, I like to know what's happening and it's really hard for me to be patient and wait for things to play our around me. But, my friend Matt Rogers said once, many years ago, "We prove what matters to us by what we're willing to wait for and by how we're willing to wait for it." And I find that the things that are hardest for me to be patient about are the ones I want enough that I can be willing to wait for them.

So here's to prying open my grip on uncontrollable things and not trying to make things or people act the way I want them to. Cheers.